and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
