I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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