omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
