I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
