Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
