we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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