i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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