No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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