The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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