Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Randomize
