Your face is a jimmy john
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
