8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize