STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
