I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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