What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
