Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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