how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
