bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My vagina just clenched in fear
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
