How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
