You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
