What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am spending my child support on dildos
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
