Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
