i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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