Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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