wakey wakey hands off snakey
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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