ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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