Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
