i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
