Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
