Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just google imaged poop.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You are a genius and a whore.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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