I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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