Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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