You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
