Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
