his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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