Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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