I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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