Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
