Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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