and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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