is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Actions speak louder than pants.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
