apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Randomize
