those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
