worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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