Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
