If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Someone shit on the floor
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
