if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
