We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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