so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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