Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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