dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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